


The Bidding

by orphan_account



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Trigger Warnings, elements of rape, if you like jaha do not read, jaha being a douche, kabby bickering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-16 05:12:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5815519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When there is unrest from the lower level sections of the Ark, newly appointed Chancellor Jaha comes up with a plan to make people happy and Marcus helps carry it out. For four years it is a success, until Jake Griffin is floated and everything goes to hell. Now Marcus is thrown into a position that puts everything he knows into question.</p>
<p>*There are elements of emotional and psychological rape in this story. There is also one mention of a physical rape, but it will not be described only talked about after the fact. If you have any issues with these types of situations please do not read because I do not want to trigger anyone</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always welcome!

When Thelonious Jaha became chancellor he was immediately faced with an issue that had been slowly growing on the Ark. The lower sectors of the space station did not have enough rations to go around, and they were beginning to fight for more. Their main complaint was that they had “criminals” walking loose amongst the population who were taking much need food. These supposed offenders had never actually broken a law, but had been married to someone who had, so according to the protesters they were just as guilty.

Some of his councilors advised him to ignore the “criminal” issue all together and to rewrite a section of the charter so that food was better divided, but Jaha knew that was not the best course of action. Rations were evenly split amongst the sectors as is; it was just that some areas were more populated than others. If he took from one sector to give to another then a whole other can of worms would be opened.

Another councilor told him to float the spouses without question, and lock away any children involved.

“After all,” he sneered, “if they are related to a criminal, how innocent can they really be?”

Jaha ignored that option as well because he knew at the end of the day people would just turn the rebellion around to say that the military was getting too fanatical. No, he needed a solution that would have very little blowback on him and his rule.

Then one day he walked into his apartment and found thirteen-year-old Wells waving a shirt around as Clarke offered up things for it.

“I will give you my chess set,” the blonde child was saying, “And I will give you three days of lunch rations. Please Wells; my dad would be so happy if I got him a new shirt.”

Jaha watched as his son mulled this offer over before tossing the shirt to his friend.

“What are you two doing?”

The kids jumped, and Wells tried to look guilty despite his excitement over his new chess set, “Bartering.”

“I can see that,” Jaha smirked, “but you all are a part of the select on this ship. Should you not be happy with what you have?”

“We are,” Clarke intoned, and Jaha had to smirk at the self-righteous spark that was so familiar, “but we have plenty to spare, why not get something out of it?”

He was about to argue her point when inspiration struck. Yes, it was true the higher up stations did have more than enough due to their lower populations and he couldn’t take the excess away from them; but he could convince them to barter it away. He just needed to find the perfect way to initiate the transfer of sources.

A few more days of mulling and he had come up with the perfect solution.

“We know some are arguing that spouses of criminals are guilty,” he explained to his council one morning, “so why don’t we put them on trial?”

“What?” Marcus and Abby asked at the same time, one confused and the other indignant.

“Hear me out. We put them on trial and if they can give proof that they had nothing to do with the crime of their significant other, and that includes knowing of it, then we let them go.”

“And if they did have a part? We float them?” Marcus asked.

“We might,” Jaha started, and then paused to consider his position again. What he was about to say might be met with complete objection, but he knew it was the only way so he continued, “Or we can give them a choice. If they knew of the crime, or played a minor role-something that will be determined by this council on case by case basis- they can choose between being floatedâ€¦or being a part of a bidding program.”

“What do you mean â€˜bidding program?” another council member, Williams, questioned.

“These people would keep their daily jobs; they would stay with their kids and live life as usual. Except that four nights a week there will be a bidding. Those who have rations to spare will bid for a night with the people in the program, and the rations earned will be divided amongst the lower classes.”

“Are you suggesting we bring prostitution to the Ark?”

Jaha tried to push the disgust in Abby’s voice from his mind as he looked imploringly at his council, “I think this would be a rational, and easy course of action.”

Abby laughed, “And when women and men are getting raped left and right, what will the course of action be then?”

“Abby, listen to reason,” Jaha sighed, “this solves the anger towards spouses being allowed to live, and will also give more towards the suffering sectors. Besides those in the program would technically be volunteers, and we will make sure sexual orientations are strictly adhered too.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“Does anyone else agree with Chancellor Griffin?”

Around the table everyone shook their heads to show they had no issues except for Marcus. Jaha watched as the man looked uncomfortably between his two friends before giving a heavy sigh and indicating that he thought the idea was a good one. Abby glared at the commander, and crossed her arms as she sat back in her chair, anger wafting off her.

“Let us take a vote then,” Jaha stated, trying not to look at his upset friend, “if you are in favor of adding this plan to the charter say aye.”

Around the table all the council, aside from Abby, gave their affirmative vote, and Jaha nodded, “Then from this moment forward spouses of convicted criminals will be tried for the crime of association. If they are found guilty they can make their choice: be floated or be bid on.”

Shortly after the vote the meeting ended, and council members filed out until Marcus, Abby, and Jaha were the only ones left.

“This was a mistake,” Abby hissed with fire in her eyes before storming from the room.

Marcus watched her go shaking his head, “She will come around, once she sees that this plan will work.”

Nodding, Jaha rubbed his eyes, “I hope you’re right, both about the plan and Abby.”

~~~ 

For the next four years, Marcus was indeed right. While never a fan of the bidding plan, Abby seemed to overcome it quickly enough. Jaha was never sure if it was because she saw the good it did, or because Jake convinced her not to fight in a battle she couldn’t win. Either way there was a peace between their group within weeks of the vote; and soon after peace began to be regained in the entire Ark.

In four years, thirty-six spouses had been convicted of crime by association, five had chosen to be floated, and the remaining agreed to join the program. They did it to be there for their children or for other loved ones, and they were happy that their choice was contributing to those who would have gone hungry.

Jaha would watch as the higher ups- council members, doctors, engineers, and the like- gave up things they didn’t need for one night of pleasure, and would smile as those biddings went to feed a hungry child or warm an elderly member of their society. It was not the most ideal of plans, but it was effective. Besides, how much could it hurt if everyone was consenting? He himself had bid a few times over the years, and while on occasion there had been some semi-rough foreplay it was all in good fun and no arm was ever done. Overall he felt that his bidding plan had been a huge success.

And then it happened. Abby came to him one evening in tears, telling him that Jake was planning on revealing an issue with the oxygen levels to the entire station. She begged him to talk her husband and his best friend from doing it, she begged him to keep Jake from trouble; and he turned around and had the man floated and Clarke arrested.

The next day as he threw back a shot of whiskey a knock sounded on his door, and Marcus entered his office with a look of resignation mixed with pain.

“Sir, according to the charter we have to try Abby.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter. More to come tomorrow.

**Rules of the Bidding**

1\. Biddings will take place Mondays-Thursdays, giving the people in the program three days to fully rest.

2\. People within the program get six months after the floating of their spouse to mourn before they can be bid on.

3\. Sexuality must be respected. No Heterosexual can bid on a homosexual and vice versa.

4\. A person in the program can refuse to deliver services with the person who bid on them three times.

5\. If a bidder does not get what they paid for, they will be returned their bids.

6\. If a person refuses to deliver services beyond the three time limit they must give up a day’s rations per additional refusal.

7\. All rations earned in this program-either from bidding or penalties- will be equally divided amongst the sectors that need it most.

8\. A person in a sector that is receiving these additional rations can only receive an extra amount once a week to ensure everyone gets a fair share.

9\. People within the bidding program are not to be harassed at any time about their position. Doing so will result in 5 shock lashes.

10\. If a person bids on a person and then forces them to deliver services they will be floated.

 

Six months after the death of Jake Griffin, Marcus sat in his office staring at the rule sheet that had helped dictate the running of the bidding program with a pit in his stomach. It was the first Monday that Abby would be bid on, and while he had never thought much about the people in the program before, he now could think of nothing else.

_“Did you vote for this law Marcus? This is inhumane.”_

Scrunching up his eyes, Marcus tried to push his mother’s words from four years ago out of his mind. It wasn’t inhumane, he assured himself, everyone in the program was treated with respect and no rape or assault had ever been committed. Jaha had come up with a great program. People got to avoid being floated, and extra rations were given to those who needed it. The program was a good thing.

Except in this moment of weakness he couldn’t help but shake the faces of those who chose to be floated from his mind.

_“I would rather die than be a slave to this ship.”_

Groaning Marcus stood from his desk, slamming the rule book closed as he ran a hand through his hair.

He blamed Abby for this sudden questioning of the rules. And Jake. If his friend had just left things be, and let Jaha deal with the oxygen situation, then Abby wouldn’t be in the bidding program, and he would not be sitting here second guessing himself.

He cursed both of his childhood friends as he paced his office. They knew how he had to abide by the rules, and yet they put him in this position. He never thought he would have to do anything worse than float Jake, but now he was going to watch the man’s wife get bid on and he hated himself for it.

He just couldn’t figure out why he hated himself. Maybe it was because he knew Abby could be such a pain in the ass.

After all, everyone else in the program was willing, and participated to remain alive and to help feed others. Abby though…she did remain behind for Clarke, this was true…but she was not going to be bid on willingly. He knew she hated the program, had ranted at him and Jake about it many times. She was going to cause trouble within what was a usually calm situation, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to handle it.

_“I heard Abby is in the program. How can you still support it? How can you allow her to be sold?”_

Cursing his mom’s persistent voice, he stormed from his office, heading to the gym to beat out his confusing frustration on a punching bag.

~~~

An hour later, Marcus entered the gym’s locker room sweaty, and feeling a lot better. He should not be concerned about Abby, she was just as guilty as everyone else in the program. She would either participate willingly, or she would have to give up rations. No special treatment could be given to her, and he was not going to stress about it anymore.

He had almost convinced himself that his new view on things was the correct one, when he heard two guards talking from a few rows away.

“I hear Dr. Griffin is up for bid tonight, are you going to go for it?”

Another man laughed, “You kidding? She will be way out of my price limit.”

“Same,” the original speaker sighed, “It is a shame though. I would love a go at her. She is so tightly wound, I bet she is a demon in bed.”

Both men laughed and exited the locker room, not realizing that their commander had overheard and was back to doubting everything.

With a heavy sigh, Marcus tugged on a clean shirt, and for the first time ever made his way to the bidding office.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby faces her first bidder

Abby spent the Monday of her first bidding feeling as if everyone was watching her.

When she was in the cantina eating breakfast she had to keep from yelling at some of her friends who sat a few tables away with their eyes full of pity. She snapped at Jackson when he asked her if she was okay. She glared at a fair share of men who seemed to be sizing her up as she walked the halls of the Ark. She knew for a fact they were all bidders and she wanted them to know that while she had to participate in the bidding, she was not going to make it as fun for them as they might hope.

From the very beginning she hated the program Jaha had come up with in hopes of easing the anger of lower sectors. She was no idiot, and had spent her years on the god-forsaken ship she called home reading and researching everything she could about human existence. That included any psychology related texts they had on board. Jaha and Marcus and all their little followers might see nothing wrong with what they were doing, but she did. These people in the program had to choose between life and servitude. Their bodies might not have been physically harmed, but there was still a lack of consent even if they didn’t realize it. It was disturbing.

She had tried to battle Jaha about his decision and had been out voted. She told Jake she was going to fight harder but her husband had begged her to let it go. He reminded her that the bidding was a lot better than other policies that could be put in place by the likes of Diana Sydney. He had a point, Jaha was the lesser of two evils and, the bidding aside, she agreed with everything he stood for. This was why she agreed never to bring it up with him again, even if she did vent about it to her husband and his best friend, Marcus Kane.

And then Jake had gone and tried to do something stupid, despite her begging him not to. Apparently he had a lot more sway over her than she did over him. Of course Abby couldn’t have fully blamed her husband for being floated, she had told his plan to Jaha after all. Jake’s death was just as much on her as it was on her chancellor and Kane. (And he could only be Kane now that he had imprisoned her daughter).

Her daughter.

Clarke was the only reason she was putting up with the pitying stares of her shipmates. She was the only reason that she stood before the council and chose to live instead of joining her husband. Clarke would be 18 in just a short amount of time and Abby would be damned if she did not do everything in her power to make sure her kid didn’t get ejected from the Ark. If that meant putting herself into a program she despised then so be it.

Clarke was the reason she sat trembling in her quarters at seven o’clock, waiting for the knock that would reveal whoever had purchased her. As she waited, wringing her hands she wondered if the person who bid on her would be an agreeable sort, or if she would be forced to give up one of her passes so quickly. She closed her eyes and took a shot of Jake’s whiskey as the clock ticked on. Whoever was coming sure was taking their dear sweet time.

It was seven thirty when it finally came- four firm taps that had her jumping out of her skin. She let out a breath before steadying herself and forcing her hands to stop shaking. She could do this. For Clarke she could make this sacrifice.

It seemed like an eternity for her to walk across her living room and pull open her door to reveal her bidder, and when she finally did she wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.

Kane himself stood there, his back rigid as he looked down at her with his usual “cold commander” stare. It used to be a look that she never saw, but ever since everything with Jake and Clarke it was the only look he gave her. Gone were the friendly smiles and warm eyes of her childhood friend, and in their place was this cold robotic man. It was as if Kane blamed her for his involvement in Jake’s arrest, and it was something she did not like to face.

As she stood there in shock, seeing him gaze at her like she was the most unworthy person on the Ark, she had a moment of realization that almost had her smiling. This was Kane. _Marcus Kane._ He was cold, controlling, and the biggest defender of Jaha’s rules. He was the man who ordered her husband to his death and her daughter to her cell but he was no monster. (No, she was the monster in that tale.) She and this man before her had a near thirty year friendship before events brought them to this moment and she knew him better than he knew himself.

This worked in her favor this evening because she knew that unless she truly broke a law he would do nothing but argue with her. She could push his buttons and he would push hers and if she was lucky they could go the whole night without her having to do what he had paid for.

Taking a deep breath she took a step back and waved him in, “Good to see you Kane, please make yourself comfortable.”

She bit back a smile as she watched him wince at the use of his last name from her lips (something that never would have been an issue six months ago) followed immediately by a hint of confusion. She knew he was wondering why she wasn’t more upset to see him, and she inwardly crowed in victory.

As she shut the door, Abby felt a lot lighter than she had when she opened it.

This was going to be fun.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marcus claims his bid...sort of...

There was a point system that went into the bidding that helped determine who won a night with one of the participants. Breakfast and lunch rations were twenty-five points each, while dinner was a full fifty. If a person was about to receive a new pair of shoes they could give them up for a hundred points, while clothing was seventy-five points apiece. Toiletries were thirty points, unless it was much sought after conditioner (one of the trickier things to make on the station) which was forty-five. Then there were little things: pencils, paper, jewelry made from scrap metal, and other non-necessities that people enjoyed but didn’t really need to survive. These could go for anywhere from five points to twenty depending on the condition of the object.

All of the above were considered a blessing to those in the more populated areas of the ship where the rations were too few to go around. Marcus remembered his years with his mother in which they would have to water down shampoo to make it last; and where, if it were not for the generosity of Abby, he would never have had decent supplies to use in classes.

Of course nothing was more sacred to the people in those areas than hot water. The space station was marvelous, but it had a lot of occupants and lacked the energy to produce enough hot water for all of them. If one lived in the less populated areas they would have the option of having three to four hot showers per household each week. While those in the overly populated areas would have maybe one a week, having to make due with cold water the rest of the time.

A hot shower ration was worth a whopping five hundred points because no one likes to give them up. Of course, Marcus mused as he stood in line to make his first ever bid, they either had kids or they were weak. He knew Jaha gave all the hot water to Wells and that Jake and Abby used to do the same for Clarke. Most parents gave those luxurious showers to their children. Those who didn’t have kids just enjoyed the hot showers for themselves, hating the feeling of icy water. Marcus did not fall into either of those categories. He was raised in a sector where his household only got one hot shower a week, and by the time he was ten he had insisted his mom use it. He became immune to the chilling effects of cold water, and in fact learned to love it.

So it was with no heavy heart that he approached the bid collector, a weary looking man with a grim face, and offered up one of his hot showers for Abby Griffin.

“Hot water?” the man asked incredulous, “We have never had that bid before.”

“Well you do now. That is five hundred points, correct?”

The man nodded and handed him a bid ticket, “Winners will be announced at 6:50.”

Marcus nodded and headed to his rounds, not really worried that he had any competition. He was correct, for as he arrived at the bidding office a few hours he found that no one had even tried to fight his bid.

He figured he should have felt victorious, but he still took his time in heading to Abby’s quarters. He wasn’t really looking forward to how she would react to seeing him. As he took the longest route possible, he wondered if she would cry; but then rethinking he knew his old friend would probably just hit him instead.

As she opened her door, he took in her shock at seeing him, and braced himself for a hard slap. Instead he got a contemplative look, followed by what looked like victory in her eyes before she invited him inside. He paused for just a moment, not liking how she suddenly set her shoulders in a stance that told him she had some opinions and he was going to hear them. He knew that look, and if he was smart he would turn on his heel and leave her in peace.

Of course, the curiosity that had always pulled him towards this woman since they were seven-years-old had him walking into her chambers. He was hit by a wave of memories as he thought of all the times he had visited this place, all the evenings spent with Abby and Jake as they discussed ideas and things they could do for the Ark. He had been here when Clarke had taken her first steps and Abby had cried. He was here when the precocious child had been found with Wells climbing through air ducts, and had joined in on the reprimand the girl had received. He spent hours laughing with his now deceased friend about the antics of cadets, and junior engineers. It used to be a safe place, a happy place, and somehow in a few short months it had come to this: a woman now in the bidding program, her husband dead and child imprisoned, standing with the man who did such horrible deeds.

“Abby I-“

“I didn’t know you partook in the bidding program Marcus. Didn’t you once tell Jake that you had no interest?”

He hesitated yet again, not sure how to navigate this new relationship with a former friend. They had had their battles before, but they were usually laced with mutual respect. Now they were in uncharted territory.

“I don’t usually partake Abby, but tonight I made a special exception.”

“Oh so you follow orders to float one of your best friends, and then rush to take his wife to bed as soon as you can?”

Marcus took a step back, feeling as if he had been slapped, “What? No! I don’t want to take you to bed.”

“Oh would you like to do it on the couch instead? If I recall that is where you and Jake had your last conversation. I bet that would be really-“

“Stop!” he hissed, and it was her turn to take a step back. Anger seethed through him as he stared her down, and he knew from the look in her eyes she was feeling the same emotions. For a moment or two they just glared at one another before finally he took a deep breath and turned away from her. He had planned on staying the whole evening, even if it meant sleeping on an uncomfortable couch, but now he knew that was a stupid idea.

“I just came by to tell you that you could rest easy tonight.”

He moved to let himself out of the door when she stopped him with a sad voice, “You have to know how bad this program is Marcus, or else you wouldn’t have bid on me.”

“I bid on you to give you another night to adjust to your fate,” he called over his shoulder, “I can’t promise the same tomorrow, so use your reprieve wisely.”

With that he left her, and headed to his own quarters, giving a prayer of thanks that no one saw him so shortly after bid winners were announced. He wouldn’t want them to think Abby was not abiding her punishment.

He thought he would have rested easy himself knowing that his former friend had a night of peace, but he knew that one night was going to make little difference. And it wasn’t because the program was bad, he was sure it wasn’t, it was just because he knew Abby was going to throw a wrench in a good system if she wasn’t monitored.

It was for that reason that he got up at six in the morning and went to bid another shower.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second night of Abby's bidding.

The following day Abby did not walk in a cloud of shame and fear, so much as one of perturbed anger and confusion. What the hell was going on with Kane? Why would he bid for her and then just not ask for anything. Had he wanted sex, and then realized his mistake? Was he going to report her for not doing her duty?

She waited all morning for a bidding official to approach her and tell her she had lost one of her vetoes, but it never happened. Maybe Kane was so ashamed of his actions that he didn’t report it? At that thought, Abby felt victorious. It served the man right, trying to claim the widow of his best friend. What kind of sick person did that?

Except deep down she wasn’t so sure he was trying to claim her. This was someone she knew pretty well, and despite his actions in the last few months Kane was no monster. In fact he had never before bid on a woman before, and for him to do so when she became available was disconcerting. Perhaps he really was trying to give her an additional night of peace?

Or perhaps he was offering her a safe solution for the situation she had found herself in. Perhaps he hoped to bid on her every night so she could have someone who would be kind to her. Lord knows, if he was anything like his younger self he would be kind.

Instantly she shook memories from over twenty years ago from her head, and steeled herself against better memories of her friend turned enemy. Marcus Kane _used_ to be a kind soul, and a loving friend who she trusted above all else; but that friend was gone. She might have been the main reason for the things that befell her family, but Marcus played a big part in it and she could never forget that. Even if he was telling the truth about giving her another night of rest, she would not let that affect her opinion of him.

Deciding that she was not going to waste another thought on the man in question, Abby pushed all thoughts of the bidding from her mind as she went about her rounds in medical before grabbing a quick dinner and heading to her quarters to shower. By the time she dried herself, dressed, and braided her hair it was seven o’clock. She was just wondering how long she was going to have to wait for her bidder, when a sharp knock sounded on her door, causing her to jump. Whoever it was, they were a lot more eager than Kane had been the night before.

Sighing she moved to open the door, preparing herself to give as pleasant a greeting as she could muster, when her eyes landed on her guest.

“Oh for fucks sake!”

“Hello to you too Abby.”

Groaning, she stepped back, and he stepped into the room, “Did you not get then hint last night Kane?”

For a moment he just observed her with his cool gaze before smiling almost cryptically. It was smile she hated, if only because she knew the look of his real one and this was a sick mockery of that.

“I was hoping we could have a more civilized conversation this evening.”

Shrugging Abby moved past him and plopped into her favorite chair, indicating to the couch for him to sit, “I have a feeling you aren’t going to let me be until we do.”

“I am not going to let you be no matter what.”

“Is that a threat?”

Kane chuckled, “You can see it however you would like to. The point is, I am going to continue to bid on you whether you like it or not.”

“If you are that desperate to get laid Kane, I am sure there are women who aren’t in this program who would be happy to sleep with our great and powerful commander.”

“This isn’t about getting laid,” he snarled, before taking a breath and saying softly, “I have no interest in sleeping with you.”

Abby studied him and was shocked to see he was serious, “Then why waste your rations?”

“Because I know you and you are stubborn, and despite the love for your daughter, you are still going to make the lives of those who bid on you a living hell. You will try to fight in hopes of turning off any potential bidders. Try to tell me that wasn’t your plan?”

For a moment or two she considered arguing, but she knew this man knew her just as well as she did him. She hated admitting he was right, and refused to meet his eyes as she confirmed his suspicions.

Her acquiescence made him grin victoriously, “I knew it. You are too smart for your own good. I am bidding on you to keep you from trying to disband this program from the inside.”

“This program needs to be destroyed. I have been telling you that for years.”

Marcus groaned, “I know what you have been saying, but you are wrong. It provides extra rations to those who need them, and it keeps parents from being killed. You should know better than anyone how important that is.”

“You are just parroting Jaha,” Abby chided.

“If I recall, you are usually an avid supporter of our chancellor.”

“I am, in everything else, but not in this. This is rape Marcus.”

“Rape is forbidden. Those who rape a bidding participant are floated.”

Rolling her eyes, Abby stood and began to pace, hoping to rid herself of some of her frustration, “You are asking people to choose between death and life. You are asking them to choose abandoning their child or selling themselves for sex. It is emotional manipulation. People aren’t being hurt physically, this is true, but they are still left with little choice.”

For a moment Kane was quiet, and Abby thought (hoped) that she was making him understand, but a second later his chiding smile was back, “Now you sound like my mother.”

“A woman whose opinion you used to respect before you became this shadow of yourself.”

Her words had the smile disappearing, and in its place was his usual cold look, “You should go to bed Abigail. I will stay on the couch so no one questions your participation.”

“You can bid on me all you want; I am never going to stop fighting this system.”

“Goodnight Abigail.”

Knowing any further conversation was over, Abby stormed into her sleeping area, shutting the door between it and the living quarters; turning the lock for peace of mind. Most of her knew that Kane was not going to come in uninvited, but a smaller part feared this version of the man, and the lock helped put her at ease. As she lay on her bed she replayed her conversation with the frustrating man in her head.

Why was he wasting rations to keep her from messing up? Did he really care that much about her that he feared she would get herself in trouble?

No, she decided, he had no care for her. He just didn’t want his precious system being disrupted. The Kane that was now present on the Ark was not the Marcus of her earlier years. To the man on her couch, the only important thing was making sure everyone followed the rules without question. Even if that meant he had to give up rations to ensure it happened.

As she finally dosed off to sleep, Abby decided to let him do what he felt necessary. She might be stuck with him every night, but perhaps the man she once knew was still present within Kane, and maybe, just maybe she could disrupt the bidding yet.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marcus is faced with one harsh reality after another.

It was about four weeks after Marcus bid on Abby, and they had fallen into a routine that was always the same. He would arrive at her door by 7:05 and would move to sit on the couch while she sat in her chair watching him idly. He would tease her, asking if she wanted to watch a movie or play cards; and she would give him some sort of sassy retort that all put told him where he could shove it. She would then grill him on the bidding program, and list off all the reasons why it shouldn’t be in existence. She was determined to convince him that the bidding was wrong, determined that it was rape and nothing could sway her opinion on the matter.

Just as nothing could sway his. With every argument she had about the bidding, he had his own counter argument. Abby claimed the people in the program were there against their will; he argued they had had a choice and they had made it. Abby would come back and tell him that a choice between death and the bidding was no choice at all, especially when a lot of the people in the program had families to think of. To this Marcus would claim that there had been those with kids who had chosen death, so obviously her point was invalid. Abby would then go into the bidding itself, her opinion being that the usual people who participated were not the most decent of people, and that the council was just asking for someone to be raped. Marcus would always laugh at this and ask her why more rapes hadn’t been reported, to which she would say that perhaps the people were too scared because their name was already tarnished.

It would go on like this for a couple hours, the same debate night after night, four times a week, until one of them would grow frustrated with the other and insist it was time for bed. At that point Abby would storm to her bedroom, sliding the door closed behind her, and Marcus would flop on the couch and glare angrily at the ceiling until sleep over took him.

It had been the same thing for the last four weeks, and Marcus thought he would have grown tired of the same thing over and over, but he found he enjoyed it. He couldn’t figure out why he liked arguing with Abby, perhaps he always had and now that she was off of the council his visits to her were his only chance. Yes, it was the challenge she presented, the challenge that allowed him to exercise his debating skills so they would be honed when they truly mattered. It had nothing to do with the slight flush that would creep up her chest when she got mad, or the intensity in her eyes as she tried to drive home a point. Those little details were irrelevant, and he barely noticed them.

He was considering all of this- their routine, their arguments, and his reason for loving it all- as he made his way to her door for the thirteenth time, at the beginning of her fourth week in the program. He had already geared himself up for their usual back and forth, so when he knocked on the door and didn’t get an answer he was thrown off base. He waited a moment or two and then knocked again, this time receiving a “come in” that had him hesitating. Abby had always answered the door, always eyed him slightly before stepping back to let him enter her quarters. He knew it was her way of telling him he couldn’t push her around, he couldn’t freely invade on her life. It was part of the routine, and suddenly she was changing it without any warning.

He opened the door with a bit of apprehensive, sticking his head in and glancing around for his nightly partner. He found her standing-or more like swaying- in front of her living room’s window, her eyes focused on something in the sky that surrounded them.

“Abby?”

She didn’t answer, just lifted a shaky hand as if beckoning him in, which he quickly complied to.

He stood there for a moment watching her, knowing something was off but not knowing what. He glanced around the room, seeing nothing amiss, and was about to ask her what was wrong when he spotted it. There on the table beside her sat a bottle of moonshine, and if it had been full when she first got her hands on it, then she had consumed at least half of the contents. He scrunched his brow at the sight, knowing Abby rarely drank unless something had truly thrown her for a loop and he tried to think what could have happened today that was different from any other. Then it hit him. It was isolation day.

Isolation day was the one day in a quarter in which parents or loved ones could visit the most “dangerous” of criminals in lock down. This meant that for the first time since Clarke had been arrested, Abby had been able to see her daughter; and from the look of things that visit did not go well.

“My daughter blames Wells.” Abby whispered, before he could say anything, a tremor in her voice.

“Excuse me? Blames Wells? For what?”

Turning, Abby glared at him, a twisted smirk on her face, “For what? What do you think Marcus? She blames Wells for Jake’s death. She claims she told him about the air issue, and what Jake was planning to do. She believes he told Jaha. She thinks it is her best friend’s fault her dad is dead. And the worst part is-“ she broke off for a moment as a sob choked her, and then she looked up at him with devastated eyes, “The worst part is, I didn’t correct her.”

Marcus took in her little speech, and then stepped towards her, dipping his head so he could get her full eye contact, “You didn’t tell her you reported Jake? That seems understandable Abby.”

“To you maybe. To someone who is cruel and calculating. Someone who would do anything to anyone to have their way.”

She turned from him and leaned her head against the glass, her shoulders shaking. Marcus knew he should have ignored her biting words, should have taken into account that she was not of the right state of mind, but he couldn’t help it when he whispered, “Is that really how you see me?”

And damn him for sounding a little broken in that moment.

A bitter laugh escaped the small woman, and she tipped her head back as if beseeching the heavens for peace, “That is how everyone sees you Marcus.”

“I know what everyone else thinks, but I am asking you if you really think that.”

He wasn’t sure why her opinion mattered, it hadn’t in a long time, but in that moment he felt as if his heart had stopped beating as he waited for her answer.

“I didn’t use to,” she said slowly, leaning her head back against the glass, “but seeing as how you killed my husband and imprisoned my daughter; I can’t help but wonder if it is true. Maybe you realized what you had missed out on, and decided you were going to do whatever it takes to get it back. Hence this incessant need to bid on me.”

“What I missed out on?”

“Oh don’t play stupid with me,” she turned to face him again, her eyes as sharp as daggers, “I gave you everything, and you just tossed it aside like it meant nothing.”

For the first time in his life Marcus was fully, one hundred percent confused about what was happening. He searched his memory for any time Abby would have ever given a hint she wanted something more than friendship or animosity from him and came up. They had known each other since they were ten and they had been inseparable for eight years after that. Then she had gotten consumed in her medical studies, he in his military training, and they grew apart. That was all he knew.

Abby must have seen his confusion because she gave a cold laugh, and shook her head, bringing her hand up to run over her face in frustration, “This is rich, you don’t remember? Your eighteenth birthday? The empty observation room? Was it really so insignificant that you can’t remember a damn thing?”

His eighteenth birthday? All Marcus could remember about that particular date was that he woke up the next morning with a killer hangover and no memory of anything that happened after he started on a second bottle of moonshine at the get together he and his friends were having.

“Oh my God,” Abby half sobbed and half hissed, as she stepped back from him, “You really don’t remember? I cannot believe I gave you _everything_ and you can’t remember!”

“What do you mean you gave me everything Abby, just tell me what I am missing so we can at least be on an even playing field here.”

“Oh for fucks sake, I gave you my virginity!”

Marcus felt as if all air and rational thought left him as the words filled the space between them, and he stumbled back until he was collapsing on the couch, his eyes wide with shock, “You…you gave me…wait..what?”

“The observation room Marcus. We went there after your party to watch the stars, and I kissed you…and we…and it was…” Abby had sobered a bit as she too sat down, her eyes having lost their fire in light of his apparent memory lapse, “it was beautiful, and I told you I loved you, and you said it back. And then you walked me to my door…and the next day you acted like it never happened.”

She had loved him?

This, like everything else out of her mouth was news to him. Abigail Griffin had loved him, and he lost out on his chance to be with her because of too much alcohol. The universe really did have a sense of humor. He would have laughed about it, if it weren’t for the fact that his mind chose that moment to replay her words from moments before.

“So we slept together, and I forgot. And I assume given your earlier statement that you thought I just regretted the whole thing?”

“My earlier statement?”

“You basically insinuated that I destroyed your family because I wanted to have what I lost.”

A blush flared up on Abby’s face, and she looked away as she whispered, “I shouldn’t have said that Marcus, I…I had too much to drink and my emotions are a little raw. I didn’t mean it.”

“Now you say that,” he snarled, and he wasn’t sure why he was angry, but he was, “now after you know I had no memory of something that you have apparently been holding against me for twenty-six years. You could have talked to me then, did you know that? You could have come to me and we could have worked things out. Because I can tell you what, if my best friend had done that all those years ago, I would have jumped at the chance to be with her. I wouldn’t have sat by and watched her get married and have a kid with another man. You are the one at fault here, not me.”

“I thought you wanted nothing to do with me.”

He laughed, “And yet, instead of trying anyway, you hid. You let fear guide you to make a decision that altered both of our lives; and you did it again with Jake, butut instead of pointing the blame at the real culprit, you have been putting it on me, and letting your daughter put it on Wells. You have let yourself believe I killed my best friend, locked up his daughter, and bid on his wife because you have told yourself I am a monster who has finally decided he wanted to bed you and would do whatever it takes to make it happen. I am sorry to tell you, but we both know that I am not the monster here.”

He was about to say more, but held his tongue when she lurched to her feet, tears streaming down her face as she rushed to her room, “Just leave me alone Marcus.”

He cursed as her door slid shut behind her and he stood to slam his hand against the wall of her living room in frustration. Everything that took place in the last few minutes flashed through his brain and he suddenly felt trapped. Cursing, he stormed from her chambers, not caring if he was seen or that people might say Abby hadn’t done service. He needed space to sort through his feelings and jumbled thoughts and he wasn’t going to get that laying on her couch with only twenty feet and a metal door between them.

Of course the universe wasn’t done torturing him it seemed, because he had no sooner turned the corner towards his own rooms, when a boy he recognized as one of the Ark’s newer cadets came rushing towards him, supporting his bruised and bleeding mother as she stumbled beside him.

“Commander Kane, please help! My mom…she…I think she was raped.”

Marcus searched his memory for a moment, remembering that the boy’s name was Bellamy Blake, and he released his fiftieth curse that evening as he realized that his mother was Aurora Blake. One of the members of the bidding program.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just telling you now, that Marcus was not calling Abby a monster. He is referring to someone else, but she doesn't know that. I hate giving a spoiler to the rest of the story, but I didn't feel like getting yelled at today!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things become cloudy

The next morning Marcus headed to medical, his back aching from a night sitting in his chair and staring at the stars as they moved past his window. From the moment he had entered his room and taken a seat until the time when he saw the sun peak up over the earth, he had not moved; he had just let the events of that night wash over him. So much had happened in three hours, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to handle it. He was looking at the first rape in the span of the bidding program; and the woman he had secretly sworn to forever bid on had ripped his world apart and made him second guess everything he had known about the past twenty-six years.

To say he had gotten very little sleep was an understatement, and so it was no surprise that he was instantly irritated by the crowd of guards that were standing with Jaha right inside of medical; all of whom were facing off with a perturbed looking Jackson.

“Sir, I really feel like we should at least give Ms. Blake the benefit of the doubt and let Abby look at her first.” The young assistant was saying, his eyes full of worry over whatever was happening in the room.

“What is going on here?” Marcus asked, looking over Jackson before turning his attention to the chancellor.

“Ah Marcus,” Jaha’s voice was grim as he turned to look him over, “One of our guards bid on Ms. Blake last night, and upon entering her room found that she had a very interesting secret.”

“A…secret?”

Jaha held out a data pad from which an image of a young girl appeared, one that Marcus had no recognition of, “Her name is Octavia. Apparently she has been hidden away in the Blake’s chambers for the past 15 years.”

Marcus looked at the photo with disbelief, never having heard of anything like this happening before, “How is that possible?”

“It appears there was a loose panel in their floor in which they stored the girl when others were about. Ms. Blake has been very lucky in hiding her second child, but it seems her luck wore out last night. She fought her bidder when he tried to go report her, and he had been forced to fight back to defend himself. Isn’t that right Perkins?”

The guard in question, a stout man that Marcus had come up in the force with, turned to his now commander and nodded, wincing at the movement as he pointed to his head, “Yes sir, I would have over powered her, but the girl knocked me out while I was trying to arrest her mother. I came to a bit later in the hallway outside the cantina, and went to find Jaha.”

“Why didn’t you come to me Perkins?”

The man blanched, his eyes flitting around as if he wasn’t sure of an answer, “I, well, I was a little mixed up from the blow sir. I just kind of went where my brain lead me.”

Marcus nodded, a suspicious feeling gnawing at his stomach as he moved forward and gently guided Jaha away from the crowd. “Sir,” he whispered, “I ran into Ms. Blake and her son last night, and she was pretty banged up. The boy, Bellamy, said that she had been-“

“I am quite aware of what the boy and his mother are saying Marcus, but you must see that it is nothing but a ruse. They have been caught committing a crime, and they are trying to save their necks.”

“Still, don’t you think it would be wise to let Abby at least exam her to make sure?”

Jaha shook his head, “Marcus, I assure you I have no doubt in my mind that Ms. Blake is lying. If you wish to question me further, then maybe we should reconsider other things while we are at it.”

Sighing, Marcus stepped back, still feeling as if something was off, but deciding there was no arguing with the facts presented to him. Nodding Jaha moved to face the guards once more, “Please arrest Ms. Blake and take her to the airlock to be floated, and find her daughter so that she can be locked up in the holding cells. Her son may live, but he is to be stripped of his command. We will find a job more suited to his status.”

The guards looked at Marcus briefly, as they always did before carrying out such orders, and though he didn’t like what was happening he gave a brief nod indicating they should do as they were told.

All in all it took forty-five minutes for everything to happen. Forty five minutes for Aurora Blake to be ripped from her hospital bed, and led down the halls kicking and screaming for justice. Forty-five minutes for the guards to wrestle her into the air hatch, and for Shumway to release her into space. Forty-five minutes for another Blake girl, this one younger and fiercer to be pulled from the hatch in her mother’s former quarters and dragged to a cell that would be her new home for the next three years. Forty-five minutes for her brother to turn in his badge and baton; and told that he was being reassigned to janitorial duty.

In all of his time in the guard, Marcus had never seen a punishment carried out so swiftly, and it did nothing to lessen the unease he felt. However, when he pointed out the swiftness of the proceedings to Jaha the man merely shrugged and said, “It seems like more and more people are trying to overstep the boundaries Kane. Surely you can see that. It is time we made an example of someone.”

Marcus nodded, knowing that the man did have a point. First Jake trying to ignite fear amongst the Arkers, and now this. It made sense that they were becoming firmer in their stance against rule breakers; and yet he couldn’t shake the broken image of the Blake woman from his head before, nor could he fully ignore young Octavia as she told him “I was just trying to save her” while he led her to her cell.

Something had happened, something he was missing, but he had all but been told to ignore it. And if there was one thing Marcus Kane was good at, it was taking orders. Perhaps Abby was right; perhaps he was nothing but a heartless beast after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was short, apologies! Hopefully more to come tomorrow or friday!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two months later, and things just keep getting worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not even sure what my muse is doing these days. I promise it has a plan, just a very oblong one.

“I hear you have been participating in the bidding program.”

Marcus looked up from his desk, trying to hide a grimace as he spotted his mother standing in the doorway of his office, one of her eyebrows arched in a look that told him she was reading too much into something.

“I thought who bid on who was confidential.”

“It is, except for when the commander of the guard is placing heavy bids on one person and one person only. People talk Marcus.”

“And what do they say?”

Vera shrugged, and stepped further into the office, her eyes flitting over him as if she was discerning every answer she sought from his very posture, “They say you are having fun with the widow of a betrayed friend, but we both know that is not the case.”

“Oh isn’t it,” he sneered, feeling especially confrontational in the moment, “what would you know of such things?”

His mother didn’t even blanch at his tone; just smiled calmly and reached out to touch his cheek only wincing slightly when he jerked away.

“You are my son Marcus, and you are not as cold as all that. Besides, there was a time when you would have died for that girl; I am willing to bet you still feel that way. Even if you won’t admit it.”

Marcus closed his eyes as memories of a happier time, a less complicated time flooded him; followed by the haunting reminder that it all ended because of a drunken mistake he hadn’t even realized he had made until very recently. Glowering, he pushed back from his desk, grabbing up his jacket and shrugging into it while avoiding his mom’s gaze lest she interrupt anything on his face as anything but aloofness, “That boy is dead mom, as is that girl. Abby and I are both very different people now, and you are wrong; I simply bid on her to keep her from causing me more headaches.”

He moved to leave the office, all but dismissing the woman who gave him life when he was stopped by a hand on his arm, “You and I both know that Abby wouldn’t be stopped from causing you headaches just because you bid on her. I suspect she has still found a way to do that and much more.” She glanced up at the clock and smiled, “You have a council meeting to get to, and I have a service. Be wary my son.”

“Of Abby?”

Vera laughed, and squeezed his arm, “Abby? No, never her. Be wary of those things that make you feel as if she is the problem.”

Marcus watched her go, confusion and irritation at her riddles causing him to roll his eyes as he followed and stormed off towards the council room. Hopefully he would have some peace while listening to Jaha and the others prattle on about policy.

~~~

“Sir, I really am not sure this is a good idea.”

Today was really not Marcus’ day. First his mother tries to mess with his head, and now Jaha coming to the council meeting with what seemed to be a very dangerous plan.

“Councilor Kane, I do not see how we have any other choice. Our air supplies are dropping faster than we ever could have imagined, and the Ark will never sustain us for as long as we hoped.”

“Then send some guards down, or adults who might have a better handle on the situation.”

“And risk people who can still be a help to us if this goes poorly? No, the kids are our best option. Most of them are up to be floated as soon as they turn eighteen anyway; at least now they will get a second chance. If earth is sustainable.”

Marcus closed his eyes in frustration, rubbing at his temples to ward off the headache that was fast approaching, “I understand what you are aiming for Chancellor, but not _all_ of the kids in lock up are headed for the air lock.” His mind instantly brought up images of Clarke and Octavia- both locked up for their parents’ sins- and tried to bite back the vile that was rising in his throat, “Why can’t we send down just the murderers?”

“Because then we will not have a viable sample. With 100 kids we will have a large enough number to know just what faces us down there.”

“How do you plan on keeping in contact with these kids? I mean, most of them are delinquents, they could get down there and find it is livable, but never tell us otherwise.”

“Some of them,” one of the other council members sneered, “All of them are delinquents Kane. You should know that more than anyone. Or have you grown soft on us? I hear a good woman can do that to even the most heartless of men.”

Marcus felt a flame of anger lance through his spine at the words, and he was just about to lash out at the man across from him, when Jaha raised his hand for silence.

“We will not have talk like that here Williams,” the chancellor admonished, his eyes dark with something Marcus wasn’t sure how to identify. A look that was cleared by the time attention was back on him, “As for your question Kane, I have already thought of a way around that. I have been by to speak with Abby this morning, and she has agreed to make a device that we can tag the 100 with. Something they will not be able to remove, and that will send all their vital signs to us via satellite.”

A fist clenched around Marcus’ stomach, one he tried to ignore as he eyed to chancellor coolly, “She didn’t seem opposed to the idea? How unlike Dr. Griffin to agree to something so…risky.”

Across the table Williams snickered, mumbling something about ‘Dr. Griffin,’ under his breath, and it took all of Marcus’ self-control not to pounce across the table and level the man.

“She was had her reservations, which is understandable given the circumstances. But we all know Abby has proven to be very…reasonable…when it comes to the good of the people, and she knows in the end this is our best option. All I need is a vote.”

Marcus spent the next few minutes going through the motions, agreeing to the plan though it still bothered him. The whole time he watched Jaha as he conducted the end of the meeting, and ice filled his veins. This man was calmly deciding to send 100 children to a ground that had been uninhabitable for decades, and he seemed completely unphased by it. It brought memories back that Marcus had tried to keep buried for months, memories that were now washing over him like a tidal wave and threatening to drown him. Memories of a friend coldly betraying another and leaving everyone to scramble to pick up the pieces. It took all of his mental strength to keep himself passive as Jaha finished speaking, a relief washing over him as he was finally allowed to shoot up from his chair and head for the door.

“Kane.”

Jaha’s voice stopped him cold, and for the hundredth time that day he bit back a groan as he turned to face his leader, his passive face locked in place, “Yes sir?”

“Seeing as you will see Abby before I will, please let her know that the plan has been approved. We will need her to get to work right away on the tracking devices.”

Marcus nodded, his uneasiness growing, both from the still calm façade the chancellor was showing, and from the idea of facing Abby at all, let alone to share such news with her.

~~~

It had been two months since he had stood in this place, and knocked on this door. The rumors were all true, he did bid on Abby each and every night Monday through Thursday; but what no one realized was that he had never been by to “seek out her services.” Not since that night, not since he learned what had happened so many years ago. Not when he learned that he had once held this woman in his arms, had had a chance with her, and never even realized it.

As he knocked on her door, his eyes closed with shame at the memory of that night from weeks ago. He should’ve been more patient with her, more understanding. He shouldn’t have lashed out for her for the way she was acting. Grief did terrible things to a person, and instead of being a friend he had only made things worse; and then hid from her like a coward for two months.

_Listen to yourself,_ his inner voice admonished, _this is not how a future leader thinks. You need to be colder than this. Why must you constantly worry about some useless girl’s feelings?_

His body seemed to stiffen at the words _useless girl_ ; a curious choice of thoughts that he did not even want to begin to delve into. Luckily he was saved from such musings as the door slid open and he came face to face with Abby, who was staring up at him with a mask of indifference. It was the same look she had been giving him anytime he had accidently crossed paths with her in the past months, and it almost made him smile to see something so familiar.

Almost.

“I wondered if you would be the one to show up here tonight. Was Jaha too busy, or too nervous?”

“He knew I would see you anyway, it saved him the trip.”

She laughed, a cold unfeeling thing, and stepped back to grant him entrance, her hands coming up to braid her hair as she walked towards her chair. It was only then that he noticed the long strands were damp, and a jolt of –something- rushed through him as he realized she must have just gotten out of the shower. As she sat Abby caught his look and shrugged, “I wasn’t sure if I should expect you or not, so I figured I would shower just in case. It was a bit of a long day.”

“Medical issues?”

“A few kids from farm station have a stomach virus, it got messy.”

Marcus winced and moved to the couch, staring at his shoes rather than face her; sure that at any moment the magnitude of the situation they were facing was going to hit her. Certain that when it did she would lash out at him, as was her M.O.

Instead she reached beside her chair and picked up a box that seemed to be filled with various odds and ends. She rifled through it briefly, and finally pulled out a yellowed piece of paper, unfolding it and pressing her lips to the top with a sad smile. When she was done, she turned the paper to face him, and Marcus smiled as he instantly recognized what had to be one of young Clarke’s drawings. It was a misshapen tree, standing tall in the middle of a field, the words “Eden” written sloppily across the top.

“Remember when she was obsessed with your mom’s tree?”

Marcus couldn’t forget. The eight-year-old had stumbled across one of Vera’s services one day when she had run off to explore. Abby and Jake had been frantic, but there had been no need for worry, as they found her sitting in the front row of the makeshift chapel, her eyes glued on the tree in question. For months after she drew picture after picture of the thing, planted on any part of the earth she could imagine. If he recalled his mother still had a picture of the tree growing in the middle of the ocean hanging on her living room wall.

“She was obsessed with seeing this thing planted on earth,” Abby whispered, pulling him from his thoughts, “it was all she ever talked about. One day Wells was teasing her about it, telling her that their generation wasn’t going to see earth. I was about to reprimand him, about to pull him aside and tell him not to crush her. I shouldn’t have worried though, she wasn’t even phased. She just looked Wells in the eye and told him to have hope.”

She paused in her story, her eyes glittering with tears and making Marcus shift uncomfortably on the couch. He wasn’t sure how to take this Abby, one he had not seen so open in vulnerable in years. It was making him feel softness towards her that he really did not want to feel, not with the ghosts of their past looming so heavily over him. Not when he was about to send her little girl to an inevitable death. Before he could say anything though, before he could try to turn the tables and get her to give him the Abby he could handle, her eyes shot up to meet his and he choked at the rawness in her expression.

“My little girl will die if she stays up here Marcus, we both know that; Jaha knows what she knows, and because of that she will be floated the moment she turns eighteen. This is the only chance I can give her, the only chance that might allow her to have a full life, perhaps even a better one. If she gets down there, and she lives. If she is pardoned…how could I fight against that?”

Marcus wanted to argue with her, the devil within him wanted to tell her that Clarke was doomed no matter what. That is what he should have done, for his sanity; he could not be who he needed to be if he was letting such sentimentality run his very thoughts and ideals. And yet, on this evening he didn’t want to crush someone, he didn’t want to make Abby face the harsh odds that were in her daughter’s future. As much as everything in him wanted to do just that, it was as if he was paralyzed from doing anything other than reaching out and squeezing her shoulder.

“You are making the right choice Abby.”

She nodded, her eyes studying his face for a moment before she set the picture back in the box and stood, tucking it close to her chest as she moved past him.

“Of course I am, I always do Kane. And what’s more, not only am I giving Clarke the hope to live, but I am also giving her the hope to escape a monster like me.”

It wasn’t until Marcus watched her go, not until the heavy metal door closed between her room and the living area that her final words finally processed in his mind.

_A monster like me._

He wanted to run after her, wanted to tell her that she was mistaken, that she was no monster. He had even stood to do just that, when he paused once more.

_Sentimentality is for losers and weak willed men._

The words echoed through him, and he steeled his spine, choosing to leave Abby’s apartments rather than give in to weakness.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby thinks briefly on her past with Marcus, just before she tells her daughter goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own the dialogue that is used between Clarke and Abby in this chapter. That belongs to the show. 
> 
> Note: Jaha does not face an assassination attempt in this story (Bellamy just sneaks on to the drop ship), and Marcus will not try to float Abby. Just so you all know going forward.

_His hands were everywhere, steadying her as they roamed over the contours of her back, brushed through her hair, and gripped her waist. Just when she would get used to them being on one part of her body, he would move them once more, his finger teasing her and making her gasp against the skin of his neck where her face was pressed as she rocked against him. Finally, she reached down and grabbed his hands, interlocking their fingers as she shifted her hips a little faster, a moan escaping her when she felt him twitch within her._

_“Are you okay?”_

_Abby looked up and met his concerned brown eyes, confused by his question until he squeezed her hands gently. She smiled at the gesture and nodded, leaning forward to kiss his lips, the taste of moonshine and her own juices making her moan once more._

_“It is hard to concentrate,” she whispered as she returned her head to his shoulder, her hips staying steady, “when you are distracting me so much.”_

_She eyed him from beneath her hair- recently pulled free from its braid- and bit her lip at how sexy his face looked when he was equal parts shy and equal parts proud. She clenched around him, her moan mixing with his as her actions caused him to thrust up to meet her rocking movements. They sat there in the observation room, his back pressed against the wall as she straddled him, moaning and rocking and whispering nonsense words to each other until suddenly pleasure overcame them both and Abby found herself releasing his hands so she could tangle her own in the unbuttoned shirt he still wore; a muffled scream leaving her as wave after wave washed over her body._

_When she came down, she found herself limp and sweaty, resting heavily against his chest as she tried to catch her breath. She wasn’t sure how long she lay there, listening to his rapid heartbeat slow down beneath her ear, but finally she pulled back and kissed him once more, unable to contain the smile that was tugging at her lips._

_“Happy birthday Marcus, I love you.”_

Abby shot up in bed, her body trembling as the pleasure the dream had given her seemed to cling to her every pore, causing her to groan in frustration.

It had been over two months since her drunken argument with Marcus, and try as she might she could not put once dormant feelings and pains back into the metaphorical box she had locked them into. Before it had been easy to push down the pain and rejection she felt the morning after Marcus’ eighteenth birthday, when she found him in the cantina nursing a cup of coffee and trying not to look hungover. The pain that nearly killed her when she realized he was not going to acknowledge the time they had shared the night before, nor the words she had so genuinely and earnestly whispered to him afterwards. Words he had returned.

In hindsight, perhaps she should have talked to him about what had happened, should have made him at least apologize; but at the time she was too shy, too embarrassed, to face that type of humiliation. So, she behaved like most seventeen year olds would, and decided to get even. She stopped talking to her best friend of eight years, and ignored him whenever he tried to initiate contact. She had hoped that once he realized how badly he had hurt her, he would at least approach her and talk to her about it. That he would at least give her the opportunity to tell him how hurt she was; but when he never did that, when he just gave up seeing her all together that is when she decided there really was no hope for them.

Life went on, and her heartbreak and feeling of rejection lessoned. She earned a spot in medical, and began working her way up the proverbial ladder, making it known at a young age that she would one day lead that particular sector of the Ark. When she was twenty she became better acquainted with Jake, who she had only ever known from his association Marcus, and not long after she was in love and changing her name from Walters to Griffin. Clarke was not too far behind, and Abby’s life became a full one, a happy one; and any pain she felt over Marcus’ rejection mostly faded.

Mostly.

There were moments, especially when Marcus came to hang around their apartment to watch old earth games with Jake, that she would wonder. Wonder why he never seemed upset that she had moved on. Wonder how he could laugh with her and her husband, and play with her child; and never show any remorse that this could’ve been his life if he had only tried. Wonder if they would have had a daughter, her and Marcus, and if she would have taken after the dark haired Marcus, just as Clarke took after the fair haired Jake. It wasn’t that she longed for that life, she was extremely happy with the one she had, she just couldn’t help but try to understand how someone could be so heartless as to throw something aside, and then act as if nothing had happened. Even with faced with what he lost.

As the years passed Abby came to a conclusion: She must not have been as special to Marcus as he had been to her for the eight years they were friends. There was no more wondering, because it was quite obvious that she held no impact over the mostly callous man.

And then Jake was gone, and Clarke was jailed, and she found herself up for auction; and the shit hit the fan.

Because all it took was one drunken night of anger, one night of self-loathing that drove her to the bottle that helped to uncover the truth. It wasn’t that she had been unimportant, or that Marcus had thrown her away. He couldn’t have done that, because he had no memory of even having the option.

She should have known better, even at seventeen, given that she was a pre-med student. She should have known that the amount of moonshine he consumed the night of his birthday was enough to give even the most hardened drunk a blackout. She should have known, but she didn’t think, and because she acted so rashly she was the one who had cast aside the possibilities, not Marcus.

It didn’t change things, not really. In a way Abby would never begrudge the events that happened as they did. If it had gone down any other way she never would have had her life with Jake, and Clarke never would have existed.

_Clarke_

Lurching up from her bed, Abby glanced at her clock and let out a curse as she saw she had less than ten minutes to get across the Ark to where the kids were held prisoner. She scrambled to find her clothes, carelessly tugging them on, before rushing to brush her teeth as she simultaneously shoved her feet into the boots resting by her bathroom door. That done, she left her quarters, hurrying towards her destination, her hands expertly braiding her hair as she went.

It had been a week since Marcus had come to her door and told her that the council had officially decided to send the kids to the ground, in hopes of finding a solution to the issue of the dying ark. A week since she had put her walls down enough to share a piece of daughters past, not even caring that the man she was talking to could have cared less about a child’s drawing. It wasn’t about being listened to, it was just about getting some pain off her chest.

No one had asked for her assistance at the skybox, but no one had told her she couldn’t be there. Maybe Jaha and Marcus assumed that once she had finished developing the bracelets that were probably being locked on the kids’ wrists at that very moment that she would want nothing to do with what happened next. Obviously they didn’t know her too well.

Abby cursed as she turned the final corner to the skybox, finding that perhaps one of the leaders of the Ark knew her a little too well after all.

“Abby,” Marcus greeted, his eyes cold as they fell upon her, “I thought you might show up here.”

“I just thought I would come see if I could be of assistance in getting the kids prepared for launch.”

His mouth twisted into a semblance of a smile, and he shook his head as if annoyed, “We both know that that is not why you are here.

Abby was about to argue when a commotion from one of the upper floors of the sky box caught her attention, and she gasped to see her daughter stumble from her cell, gripping the railing in front of her as bright blue eyes took in the chaos below. Before Marcus could stop her, Abby took off running, rushing up the stairs as fast as she could, desperate to hold her kid one more time.

As she approached, she noticed that the guards were trying their hardest to subdue the startled seventeen year old, and for a moment she forgot that she no longer held any power on the Ark as she demanded they stop. The guards seemed to forget how far she had fallen as well, as they released Clarke and stepped back, allowing her to rush forward and wrap her daughter in her arms.

“Mom? What’s going on?” The girl whimpered, hugging her tight, the fear in her voice making Abby blink back tears of her own, “What is this? They’re killing us all aren’t they?”

Taking a steadying breath, Abby stepped back, her hands gently rubbing Clarke’s trying to quiet her as the girl rambled on about early executions to free up resources.

“Clarke,” she whispered urgently, “You are not being executed, you are being sent to the ground.”

Instead of calming her, the words only seemed to upset Clarke more, and she continued to ramble on about safety and reviews. Abby cursed their limited time, knowing that at any moment they were going to be separated, cursing that she did not have the ability to tell Clarke everything she needed to know before the inevitable happened.

“The rules have changed, this gives you a chance to live,” she soothed, before shifting gears, all too aware that the guards were inching closer, “Your instincts will tell you to take care of everyone else first. Just like your father. But be careful. I can’t lose you too, I love you so much.”

The words came out in a rush, and as she pulled Clarke close once more, she bit back the bile at her own cowardice. She should tell her, she should tell the girl in her arms that Wells was going to the ground too, that the boy had gotten himself arrested days prior to ensure that he would be there with his former friend. She should tell her daughter to forgive the boy, that it was not his fault that Jake was dead. She should tell her where the real blame belonged.

She was just gearing herself up to speak the horrible truth when Clarke lurched against her with a gasp, and stumbled slightly. Abby’s eyes flicked up in shock, narrowing when she found that one of the guards had shot a tranquilizer into her daughter’s back. She bit back her words of rebuke though, and helped steady Clarke as she passed out, gently easing her to the floor and cradling her as her eyes fluttered shut. “Earth Clarke,” she whispered encouragingly “you get to go to earth.”

The girl smiled at her softly, for just a moment, a bit of fear in her eyes before they closed and she was swept away by the sedative flowing through her system. Abby blinked back tears once more, forcing the regret over not getting the chance to be honest from her head as she kissed the crown of Clarke’s.

“Why would you sedate her?” A voice hissed from above, and Abby glanced up to find Marcus glaring at the man who had fired the sedative.

“She was resisting sir, I was just following protocol.”

Marcus moved past mother and daughter, reaching out to rip the tranquilizer gun from the guard’s hands, “You were given orders to make sure the kids were placed on the drop ship with clear minds. How can that happen if one of them is knocked out?”

The man didn’t seem to have an answer, which only irritated his commander further, and Abby raised a brow as Marcus grabbed the boy by his uniform and shoved him towards the stairs. “Go wait for me in my office, I will deal with you when I am done here. And Dr. Griffin,” she startled as his cold eyes fell on hers, “you have been not been given authorization to be here. You need to vacate the premises before actions will be taken.”

Abby nodded numbly, trying to tell herself that Marcus was doing his job even as a wave of resentment washed over her. She gently eased her daughter to the floor, pausing briefly to stroke her blond curls one more time before she stood and began to walk towards the stairs. She didn’t even bother to spare the mighty commander a glance as she passed him, hoping he would know that any peace they had mustered a week ago was gone.

She was just about to start down the steps when a “don’t” from Marcus reached her ears, and she paused to look back at him. For a moment a new wave of anger almost clouded all of her judgement as she found him kneeling beside Clarke, his hands moving to remove Jake’s watch from her wrist. She was just about to storm back over and pummel the man for taking the last thing of her father Clarke had, floating be damned, when just as quickly as he had removed the timepiece, Marcus was lifting Clarke’s opposite arm and replacing it.

Abby was stunned by the act of kindness, especially when this particular man was the one providing it; but instead of sticking around to let him know she had seen, she slunk down the stairs as quickly as her feet would allow. She had no energy to deal with the ramifications or meanings of that moment, she would just need to leave it for another day.


End file.
